The Walk Of Shame

Scenario one: Three balls, two strikes and bases are loaded. Game is resting on your shoulders. And your crush is there! And... President Obama! Dramatic enough, right? Getting another narrow strike is completely understandable.

Scenario two: Two strikes, you're the first batter, your crush isn't there and you're already going to loose. You haven't swung at the ball once and you can just know the shame that's going to come on your walk back to the dugout if you don't jet this sucker into the pitchers face. Oh, forgot to mention this is also a church league. Oh look, the pitcher is throwing the ball! Well obviously it's going to be a baa- strike. Fantastic. You were struck out and you didn't even swing your bloody lucky bat! The walk back to your team mates... it's worth hanging your head over.

If you hadn't have guessed, that was me Friday night. But my consolation prize was next inning catching a solid fly and rocketing a line drive into the night and successfully scoring my team a touchdown! I also got free nachos and a burger that was worth every penny I didn't spend on it. Why, you may ask, am I'm telling you this? Because you're reading my blog, people! You're in my world now... so please relax, keep your eyes on all valuables and enjoy the music! Back to the weirdness.

Alright, I'll get this out of the way right now and say it now; sorry. Here's why - as far as writing goes I didn't get any done today. Please, lower the pixilated tomatoes! I have a good excuse ... it was hot. Hear me out! I just have this thing for collapsing into a puddle of fat banana (great for bug bites as well as shining your shoes and cramps) goo when God decides to turn my life into a giant experiment of menopause. Like honestly, if the mercury goes up past 100 degrees then buddy, I'm a man's worst nightmare because chocolate and cheap roses won't slow me down. You can't give me food because then I just feel nasty and video games don't last more than fifteen minutes because the remote gets all sweaty in my hands and that is just-no-good. The only thing that will ever work is putting me in a bed, (spread-eagle of course because my sweaty stickyness will cause my body parts to stick like high powered suction cups if they manage to make contact) draping a cold cloth over a fan and shooting that baby straight on me full power. And please, for your sake, don't even let me catch you trying to turn on the rotator setting or you'll be cutting your own lawn and cleaning up after the dogs for a month!

Sunday is supposed to be cooler.

If Sunday isn't cooler... just remember that legally you have to wait 24 hours before you can file a missing persons report on someone, even if it is the channel 7 weather man.

So lastly comes my writing again. Thought you were done with it? Haha, yeah right! But in all seriousness I make this promise to you - I will write something tomorrow and it will be up for you to read the same day (Lawyer: Mr. Lizardi wishes to state that at the time this blog was written... oh never mind. We wish to recant out last statement. My client just realized that his words were not valid.). I know exactly what it's going to be so let's hope it's some good stuff. I'm excited!

(To anyone that's been with my blogs awhile, thanks for riding the waves. You know that I'm not very...solid when it comes to sticking with a story line but hey, wouldn't it be cool if you're here when I find the actual one? Thanks again!)

Alright. That's all for me. Thanks for taking that glimpse into my life. Hope I didn't mentally mess you up that badly. I've been trying to work on that. Night (Morning, Afternoon). G'bwess yew.

Daily Reading - Hebrews 10:17 - 39
(10:32 - 'Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering.') I'm ready for the suffering! Through trials I'll be made stronger and I won't be given a trial I can't overcome so bring 'em on! I need all the strength I can get, grrrr!

Random Fact of The Day: In the course of a normal lifetime you will, while sleeping, swallow 70 assorted bugs and 10 spiders. Hoooly spider-pig! That's where all these bug bites are coming from! They're not on my skin... they're in my skin! *scream/handwave* Time to exfoliate!

Hey, hey, h-
(See what I did there? Now you have to read the next blog to see that I was able to finish that last sentence up there! Genius is it n-